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The pandemic has put the brakes on a lot of single Australians' sex lives, but some women have found the silver lining in going celibate. For some, taking a break from sex is a way of avoiding the dramas associated with bad dates and to find out exactly what they want from sex, as ABC podcast Ladies, We Need To Talk explores.

No, we're not talking about women who are asexual — those who experience minimal or no sexual attraction.

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We're talking about those who go sex-free despite being attracted to others, a decision that appears to be on the rise, with the growing popularity of the Volcel 'voluntary celibate' movement. Jo tends to be attracted to "chefs, writers, artists and comedians" but hasn't found success in relationships with them, so has put sex and dating on ice for now.

She went celibate and decided to take a break from dating in to avoid the "inevitably dramatic" outcomes of sexual relationships. While she says she does miss the feeling of being desired, she also recognises her sex break is an opportunity to stop basing her feeling of being desirable "on whether or not [she's] having sex". Just with a little bit more knowledge and comfort and confidence.

Black women were never given the opportunity to sexually explore — we’re reclaiming our bodies

Chloe, 31, is a single mum who has been celibate for two years, with one exception a few months back. But in she made the decision to swear off sex because she "got over the bullshit of it all — dating, bad sex, selfish partners". Chloe says her sex detox has been "a journey of self-discovery", allowing her to focus on herself, her son, and her own wants and needs.

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Chloe hasn't ruled out entering new relationships in the future, but she's not interested in online dating or apps, having encountered too many "selfish" guys there in the past. She's now holding out for an emotional connection with someone who wants to get to know her at a deeper level. Catherine Gray, 40, is author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Single which she wrote after giving up sex and dating for a year.

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Catherine says she used to be consumed by the idea of finding a mate and being partnered. Her sex detox was a chance to reset her priorities and stop obsessing over dates and partners.

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She's found that going celibate is a way of breaking the cycle of having sex to please someone else. Get our newsletter for the best of ABC Everyday each week. ABC Everyday helps you navigate life's challenges and choices so you can stay on top of the things that matter to you.

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We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the lands where we live, learn and work. ABC Everyday. Print content Print with images and other media. Print text only.

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Print Cancel. Here, three women explain the appeal of taking a 'sex detox'.

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Avoiding the dramas associated with the wrong type of partner Jo, who's in her early 40s, hasn't had sex in more than a year. Her advice to single women who are finding casual dating to be a headache?

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She broke up with the father of her son five years ago, and has had several partners since then. address. Posted 7 Sep 7 Sep Tue 7 Sep at am.

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I fell in love with being single after my divorce. Here's why. The 7 best things about being newly single.

‘a magic world’: an oral history of the red hot chili peppers’ ‘blood sugar sex magik’

Why spending time alone can be healing — if you learn to embrace it. Sexual Activity, Relationships. Back to top.

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