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Those that last decades, fighting tooth and nail over every spoon, chair, and penny, and 2.


This is supposed to be your soulmate, right?

cute wife Amara

So what is going on? Do you even know this person any more? Even though you love your spouse deeply, you will still feel unhappy and alone sometimes.

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There will be times when outside stressors invade your marriage and dampen your happiness. There will also be times when the two of you will have to invest extra energy into one another in order to find your footing again.

S you might be in a toxic marriage without realizing it

Here are a few tips to help you get through. Being married is a continual process of getting to know your spouse again and again over the course of your relationship. Taking time to intentionally learn the things that are ificant to your spouse will stave off boredom. Husbands, take note: we learned of a study done by a great researcher on marriage, and what makes the happiest couples happy. One corollary he discovered was how well the husband knew his wife. A great way to get re-acquainted with each other is to work through Love Talk Starters.

The book contains questions to spark conversation and help you learn more about one another. Invest some time to get to know each other better, and watch the level of happiness and fulfillment in your marriage grow. Being generous has little to do with money; focusing extra time and effort on your spouse will make a world of difference in your marriage. Little things count BIG. Offer your husband or wife little comforts, tokens of affection, extra help, or special attention. Or if your husband likes to have coffee before he leaves for work in the morning, prepare it for him, and maybe throw in something special, like a flavoring or a creamer he enjoys.

Be careful not to keep score, though.

7 s you’re in an unhappy marriage & when should you end it

Being petty and keeping tabs is definitely not the way to draw happiness back into your marriage. When it comes to paying extra attention to your spouse, go above and beyond to display generosity and unselfishness. The two of you need time to hang out together, when you can be playful and affectionate with each other. Be fully present with each other as you create space in each day where you can slow down together. These moments are essential to the well-being of your marriage.

3 reasons why we stay in unhappy marriages

Share your dreams; inspire each other. What are some things you dream about doing together as a couple? Perhaps you can plan a special vacation that ifies a new day in your relationship.

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This will set you on the right path to creating moments for just the two of you. When the happiness in a marriage fades over time, the blame rarely rests on one spouse. Instead of assuming the victim role and asing the role of oppressor to your spouse, focus on becoming a healthier, happier person. Work on yourself and make the necessary changes to get yourself into a better place.

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Ask yourself what changes you can make to your own behavior, or your treatment of your spouse, to help lift some of the burden from your marriage. Making positive changes on your own will have an impact on your spouse.

It will affect how you view yourself, how your spouse views you, and ultimately, it will benefit your relationship. If you are being mistreated, neglected, or abused by your spouse, getting healthy will enable you to set appropriate boundaries, protect yourself, and enact change. Make sure you seek support from a professional counselor and trusted friends or family members as you work toward a healthier future. Forgiveness in marriage is the only way to move forward through a period of unhappiness.

Withholding forgiveness will foster bitterness toward one another and drive you further apart. Not only should you take responsibility for your part in the bad situations you face; you must also take responsibility for the good times—that is, what good you can create in, and extract from, your life.

Ask ammanda: i’m stuck in an unhappy, emotionally barren marriage

Create a daily habit of having several positive interactions with your spouse. Gratitude will protect you from losing yourself to negativity during times of marital unhappiness. No matter what, always believe that good wins, every time.

If you stay focused on the good around you, you and your spouse have much greater chances of overcoming unhappy seasons. The truth is, relationships are ever-changing. Love is always evolving. Hold tight to each other as you ride out the rough times together. When you come out on the other side and you will! For more tips and suggestions for making your marriage the happiest possible, check out our book, Making Happy. Prayer is essential! This is 2nd marriage for both husband and I—we have an un- blended family —and 2 grandsons—without the Lord, we would have split up long ago—!!!! Religion makes things easier when you realize that living is suffering with meaning….

However, once you get past the initial feelings of futility and terror that your life is the consequence of your decisions and interactions in this world, I believe life becomes liberating. We create our own lives and we can choose whether to foster anger or joy or sadness within each other. Choosing love is the only way to be happy…. By saying you should focus on any positive aspect of love withoit having to force a religious aspect on it. Love of anything is valid and worth sharing. If God is your thing than Great!

Are you kidding us? How arrogant. Can you not see how demeaning your words actually are here?

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I find it a little disheartening how those who claim to be Christians here are the ones who show the least tolerance. You seem surprised and hurt by the fact that there are many who do not share your faith and could not possibly agree with you statements about what is necessary in a love relationship.

6 things to do when happiness fades in your marriage

But you are being met with tolerance and acceptance in the comments here, so maybe consider returning the favor? People are sharing their thoughts and are giving of their own experiences here. This is about love in relationships. I completely agree.

A Christ-centered marriage is important. In fact, if anything I feel like it would be harder for the believers than the unbelievers. I used to wonder why so many people seemed to have life easy.

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Dream home, business owners, great marriage, happy family. Ultimately, you win.

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As long and my husband and I both have that attitude, we will make it just fine. Ultimately you win?

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I very much doubt anyone has this perfect life you describe. I expect you have no idea about their own struggles.

17 s you're in an unhappy — or loveless — marriage

Do they not teach that in church? If not then no wonder people feel that believers think they are better than non believers. But if it helps with your jealousy then hey I guess thats good for you. Good article. See 1 Tim I have been married for 19 years needless to say we have had oue share of issues and tough situations that we have been through. I have forgiven and I have held on tight even when I really felt like giving up.

passion mom Isla

I keep hoping. Sometimes I feel like my whole life is going to pass me by and I will still be in the same situation. I know I am not happy. I feel the same way 16 yrs together and I feel like my life is passing me by.

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There comes a time in every great love story when the grand illusions begin to shatter and the imperfections shine through.


I swing between feeling confused, enraged, ambivalent, distressed, sad, angry, frustrated, upset, embarrassed and depressed.


Making the decision to leave a marriage is scary: There's often a deep fear of being alone, not to mention the possibility of an unknown future.


If the marriage started on the right foot, but slowly disintegrated into negativity — this slow decline can also be challenging to pinpoint.