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  • Age:
  • 32
  • My gender:
  • Fem
  • Color of my hair:
  • Gray
  • I speak:
  • English
  • What is my Zodiac sign:
  • Taurus
  • I like to listen:
  • Rap
  • In my spare time I love:
  • Yoga


HelpGuide uses cookies to improve your experience and to analyze performance and traffic on our website. Privacy Policy. Our society tends to place an emphasis on romantic relationships. We think that just finding that right person will make us happy and fulfilled.


Friendships change as we get older.

Making good friends

And they change often, explains researcher Geoffrey Greif. In fact, friends can become even more important to us later in life, both emotionally and physically. He interviewed nearly men and more than women to compare the differences—and similarities—in how we navigate and maintain friendships over the course of a lifetime.

As a social worker and a therapist, Greif has found that while men and women may have different expectations when it comes to their friends, the connection of a real friendship is meaningful to everyone. There is a direct connection between having friends and having a more fulfilling life.

“remember that to be in high quality friendships you too must be a high-quality friend.”

And maintaining those friendships, says Greif, requires vulnerability. Men tend to have shoulder-to-shoulder friendships. Women have face-to-face friendships.

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That shapes how we interact with friends. Men tend to get together to do things, while women often get together in face-to-face situations.

“you don’t need to start from scratch.”

Some of this that is gendered is, in fact, still true. Men also tend to hang out with men of their same level of masculinity.

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Men tend to not like men who are emotionally needy too soon or those who are high-maintenance. Women tend to like more contact in order to maintain their friendships. Women are not as afraid to be emotionally vulnerable with one another as men are. Women have this belief, as do many men, that you need to be emotionally and physically expressive with your friends.


That topic never came up. They may feel comfortable doing that around women. Some men have very old friends or very dear friends that they would call within twenty-four hours if something horrible or if something fantastic happened—say, they won the lottery.

We have a very close inner circle of people we need to call.

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It can be one, two, or three men you would really want to tell about news in relation to yourself or people that you love. Those are the must friendships, people that you must call immediately when something ificant happens. That can be a group of people, of guys that you really like, and if you run into them at a party, you have a very meaningful and deep conversation with them.

This was great. Then you have your rust friends who can also be in your must category. These are people that maybe you once went to high school with and you see every ten years at a reunion.

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You keep in contact with them on Facebook. They hold special meaning for you. Those are your rust friends who could also be your very closest friends. And then there are people who are just your acquaintances.

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Sometimes there are also niche friends. He treats everybody well. I think you should get your health checked out. It makes sense that friends keep you active, so having a mix of friends keeps more people in that social network. But some men that I interviewed believe that they could be friends only with people they knew from high school.

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I try to disabuse people of that notion because as we all grow older, our friends retire or they move somewhere to be closer with their. And he is my go-to guy for everything. It depends on the person. In general, people say the more friends you have, the better off you are.

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As I said, people with wide social networks score higher on those health-related assessments. But we could also listen to the great philosopher Aristotle. Aristotle said a friendship requires so much work and effort that you should not have so many friends, and that if you want to be a true friend, it takes a lot of commitment.

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To give yourself or to have that level of commitment with so many people, maybe none of those are true friendships. Not really.

Why are friends so important?

One of my books is about how couples maintain their friendships with other couples. The hardest thing for couples is to figure out time. If I am single and then I get married, do I get time to myself to sit in the basement and play the guitar? Do I have time for just myself and my wife? When do we have couple time? If we have children, when do you have family time?

The science of making friends as an adult

How do I find time to be with my friends? How does my wife have time to be with her friends? When do we find time to go out together with other couples?

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We have to sustain our marriage. We have to sustain our family. Maybe your marriage is secure.

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Maybe your career is more established. You begin to realize maybe one of your friends has dropped dead. You begin to realize, with some newfound experiences or time, that you need to reestablish your friendships, to find people to do things with.

Make friends as an adult: expert tips on lasting friendship

Friends are really important at the beginning and may be really important in later life. Friends both intellectually stimulate you and physically stimulate you if you go out with them for a walk or play sports together. Part of the reason for Buddy System was also to say that you need to be open to making friends regardless of your age. Men have to let go of that notion.

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There were men that I interviewed who said they could be friends only with people they knew growing up. And obviously, people evolve over the course of a lengthy lifetime. That requires work and also being open to listening and asking other people about themselves. Geoffrey Greif is a professor of clinical social work at the University of Maryland School of Social Work, where he was associate dean from to What do each of these mean?

How do our friendships change as we get older, get married, and have children? You may also like.

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Meeting new people and building a new friendship can seem like a big task sometimes but the rewards of having a new good friend are definitely worth the effort.


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In reality, friendships are among the trickiest relationships out there.