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Men often come to our website and counseling offices because they realize they need our help. In our individual and group sessions, guys find a new sense of gratitude and increased self-esteem. They learn to be more open about their lives, develop more self-awareness, increase personal ability, and avoid hurtful and abusive behaviors. Read these questions, and ask yourself if you want help to:. Create for himself a happier and more satisfying life through personal growth work?
Yves mission is to help women attract positive relationships by establishing personal parameters and greater self-worth. Many women are confused and frustrated about men and dating Here is my take on this malaise: At one time, men were the hunters and women were the gatherers. On an intuitive level, this essence is still alive today. However, since the advent of the sixties sexual revolution, American cultural standards have shifted.
Men and women are exhibiting somewhat androgynous behavior. It is now becoming politically incorrect to make distinctions between men and women. Mind you, not everyone believes men and women are exactly the same, but some do.
Thus, the distinctions between the sexes are blurred. America's sexual revolution has created confusion about the relational roles between males and females. For example, in recent decades, women have begun hunting and gathering for the male, so to speak. Traditional romantic roles are going by the wayside. Society has inadvertently produced a new male prototype who has become adept at not putting in the time and effort to pursue a woman who truly interests himthe way men used to do.
Making room for women's anger helps men be more intimate with women.
Such men are convinced that it is perfectly fine for him to be "a gatherer," but the problem is, women are not natural "hunters. Who is the male gatherer? He is the male who claims to have embraced equality, but who actually doesn't respect women all that much. You've come across him. He is the guy who let's the women come to him. He does not pursue women.
He lives solely for his own pleasure. His take is, "If women want equal rights, let her prove herself to me.
The s cultural movement had good intentions and some positive outcomes. However, the sexual revolution has failed us in the area of love, romance and commitment. Unfortunately, too many American men have morphed into something we did not foresee comingthe "gatherer," who is not adept at committing, pursuing or providing. Herein lies the crux of the matter: Feminists had the right idea about wanting more equality, as in equal pay, but they got a little side-tracked by the free love thing. What they didn't realize is that most men are more than happy to accept the "No Strings Attached" philosophy of "free love.
The male gatherer is into "low stress" relationships. In the event he should decide a woman with whom he is co-habitating doesn't meet his needs after all, he has no problem leaving. His reasons? Who needs the drama? Meanwhile, he takes pleasure in having sex on a regular basis. Gratification with no commitment and no repercussionsthat's his motto. Yet sadly, women offer themselves up to the male gatherer, even though he has Frustrated man for woman his instinct for honest romance and true commitment. Courting women isn't part of the gatherers' paradigm.
He believes relationships should be easy and uncomplicated. Easy come, easy go. His expectations do not mirror the truth, which is that anything worth having requires time and effort to have.
Thus, having experienced disappointment in dating for the umpteenth time, many women carry around a perpetual cloud of frustration and anger. Nevertheless, not wanting to appear passive, women continue the hunt. Women who feel this way have a point, but their premise is wrong. She has another choice. She can let the man seek her. Women actually like having the man pursue her.
His effort shows her he has a level of interest.
She finds his pursuit of her hot and efficient - sort of like the engine of a BMW. But the gatherer guy He's a Ford Pinto, or maybe a Volkswagen bus. The easy love thing works for him, but it isn't working for her. Apparently, easy love isn't so easy after all.
Dear guy: “i’m sexually frustrated!”
Unwed mothers who struggle to raise their children without father's know this better than anyone. Unfortunately, the children get the raw end of the deal. So what's a woman to do? First, she must learn to recognize the male gatherer. She must then stop throwing herself at his feet. Male gatherer guy does not have the inclination or the stamina for true romance women crave.
Why women are frustrated and confused about men and dating
He always leaves women feeling emotionally shortchanged. Because he is, in fact, emotionally stunted.
Chances are high that he didn't have a father to teach him the responsibilities of manhood. In any event, any woman who truly wants an emotionally satisfying relationship with a man must first decide to place more value on her worth, her time, her career and her passions. In so doing, she changes her own perspective about the value of her life. Women must realize that meeting a great guy is icing on the cake.
Icing is delicious; it can make a lovely differencebut it is still optional. She must learn to appreciate her womanhood and everything that being a woman entails, to include embracing her femininity. She doesn't have to become a man to be "equal. I knew a man who was a former hippie.
Anyway, he told me that he had lived in a commune where he really enjoyed his life. He talked about how fun it was to get naked and paint women's bodies. This, I gathered, was a type of foreplay. He went on to say that the only disagreeable aspect of commune life was that the women were, "Really messed up. I guess so. Having multiple partners, not knowing who the father of your child is, and whether or not your lover s even remembered you from the day or night before would make any woman "a mess.
They made love, smoked pot, quoted Nietzsche, Karl Marx, and existential poetry. They didn't do much else. Meanwhile, the woman cooked, cleaned, scrabbled for food and even made herself available to other lovers at the request of her "main man. It's no wonder these women were so "messed up. The point is, male gatherers of the 's sexual revolution got used to the perks of free love.
Not hard to comprehend. The problem we have today is that many men are content to view women in the same disrespectful manner as did the hippies back then.
Unfortunately, women are still falling for gatherers. The problem however, is that when the going gets rough, because gatherer guy believes "she has too many expectations that don't match with my idea of fairness," it is all too easy for him to walk away. His feeling is, "I'll go my way and she can go her way.
To be sure, not all men act that badly, and I am not at all making that assertion. What I am saying is that our permissive society has created the "male gatherer" who does not understand why love and commitment actually matter. He thinks what matters is his freedom. After all, no one taught him how to respect women.
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His frustrated mom was probably working all of the time, and good ole' dad was MIA. Maybe his mom even lost the values she once had. Thus, the male gatherer had no positive role models to teach him what it means to become a grown-up.
Consequently, he remains self-serving his entire life. So naturally, it behooves the woman to shift her focus toward worthwhile men who actually enjoy pursuing a woman, who exhibit patience and caring, and who are willing to ignore the trend that presupposes men and women are exactly the same in every way.
Men and women are not exactly the same. Our bodies are different, our brains are wired differently, we communicate differently, we have different mannerisms, and in some cases, we have unique needs. But the male gatherer would have you believe this cannot be true, as that would not be fair or equal for him. Long story short, women must become adept at letting the male gatherer go.
In other words, she must learn to pare down the dating field.
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The smart woman values herself far too much to waste her time on a man who treats her as if she is worthless. Finally, women must learn to become responsible for all the bad romantic choices she has made. She absolutely must take personal responsibility for her poor decisions; only then will she be able to turn her life around and thus begin to let go of the anger and frustration she had carried before.
She will now be in a position to proactively guide her dating life in a manner that will finally allow her to experience true love and romancethe kind that has purpose, meaning, and staying power. The smart woman does not play hard to getshe is hard to get.