LusaWrite a message
- Where am I from:
- My gender:
- My gender is female
- My Sign of the zodiac:
- What is my body features:
- My figure type is thin
- Favourite drink:
You can change your city from here.
Reminder successfully set!
These are the core obsessions that drive our newsroom—defining topics of seismic importance to the global economy. Our s are made to shine in your inbox, with something fresh every morning, afternoon, and weekend.
As someone who writes often about emotional labor, I advocate for everyone to step up and do this type of work. I believe wholeheartedly that we need to shift the balance in the invisible mental and emotional load women most often carry: keeping track of the schedules, tuning into the emotions of those around them, noticing and delegating or doing household work in a way that keeps everyone comfortable and happy.
Walmart shoppers are outraged over this new policy
But it can sometimes be hard for women to give up this work. We could and, the questioner usually implies, we should let some things go.
Maybe we are standing in our own way by demanding unreasonably high standards. What about that?
In truth, there are more nuanced reasons women engage in maternal gatekeeping the term technically applies only to women with children, but women can exhibit the behavior in households without them. From childhood, women are bombarded with cultural messaging that tells us we are the only ones qualified for this work.
Though none of these assertions are scientifically true, our culture reinforces them as fact, and this prophecy becomes self-fulfilling as we grow up and take on adult lo of responsibility. We get it in our he early that we are better at emotional labor, and over time and with endless practice this becomes true.
We tend to figure out the best way to care for those around us, the best way to keep everything running smoothly. Most women can easily recall a time when her partner let her down, when her standards were deemed unnecessary and consequently ignored.
So how can we move past maternal gatekeeping into a more healthy, collaborative partnership? Developing a set of shared standards for how partners are going to show up for their shared life needs to be based on what is going to best benefit both parties and the rest of the family, if applicable.
That means both partners practicing self-awareness, and for men in particular, an awareness of how their partner keeps things running smoothly.
Men can open up the conversation, too. We have to meet in a place that makes sense for everyone.
30 things women always want to hear
stories here. Discover Membership.
Editions Quartz. More from Quartz About Quartz. Follow Quartz. These are some of our most ambitious editorial projects.
Here's what women want in a man, according to experts
From our Special Project. Women and their allies are taking bold steps towards achieving gender equality in the workplace.
By Gemma Hartley. Published June 18, This article is more than 2 years old. me up.
Update your browser for the best experience.