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The year-old publisher from Virginia isn't celibate. Happily married for 25 years, Cook said his sex life is more exciting than ever and giving up the goal-oriented climax has improved every aspect of his life. Cook, the father of adult two sons, is a newcomer to karezzaa form of intercourse that emphasizes affection while staying far from the edge of orgasm. Climax is not the goal and ideally does not occur while making love. Cook is one of a growing of men who have embraced karezza and have found it has helped heal their marriages, inject more spark into their sex lives and even shed porn addiction. A recovering porn addict, Cook suffered from performance anxiety with girlfriends.


Try out PMC Labs and tell us what you think. Learn More. Little is known about the non-genitally-focused sexual behavior of those experiencing sexual difficulties. The objective of this study was to review the theory supporting a link between sexual touching and difficulties with sexual arousal and orgasm, and to examine associations between these constructs among older adults in the United States.

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The data were from the — National Social Life Health and Aging Project, which surveyed 3, community-dwelling men and women ages 57—85 years. The 1, participants who had had sex in the past year reported on their frequency of sexual touching and whether there had been a period of several months or more in the past year when they were unable to climax, had trouble getting or maintaining an erection men or had trouble lubricating women.

Women also reported how of ten they felt sexually aroused during partner sex in the last 12 months. The odds of being unable to climax were greater by 2. These were attenuated but persisted after controlling for emotional relationship satisfaction and psychological factors. Similar were obtained for erectile difficulties among men and subjective arousal difficulties among women, but not lubrication difficulties among women. Infrequent sexual touching is associated with arousal and orgasm difficulties among older adults in the United States.

As the literature on sexual difficulties has proliferated, inquiry at the population level into the sexual behavior patterns of those experiencing these difficulties has been conspicuous by its absence. In particular, there has been little examination of differences in non-genitally-focused sexual behavior between those who do and do not experience difficulties with sexual arousal and orgasm.

While degree of engagement in sexual touching may be an important factor in the etiology of many sexual difficulties, difficulties with arousal and orgasm are of particular interest for two reasons. First, the theory and evidence on the link between this kind of behavior and this realm of sexual difficulty is particularly strong, as will be discussed in the following sections. Second, the potential link between these constructs may be of particular importance to clinical practice, as a result of a key specification in the manual used to diagnose sexual dysfunctions.

In the absence of adequate sexual stimulation, a difficulty which meets all other Adult wants orgasm FL criteria for arousal or orgasmic dysfunction is a possibly dyadic behavior problem but not a dysfunction. It could also inform treatment for arousal and orgasm difficulties.

While this is true for all age groups, the older age groups are of particular interest, since older men are more likely and older women are equally likely to report these sexual difficulties, compared to their younger counterparts Herbenick et al. Unfortunately, such an investigation is precluded by the limited data currently available. Instead, the objective of the present study was to test for the strength of an association between sexual touching and difficulties with sexual arousal and orgasm among older adults in the United States, after reviewing the theories that support such an association.

The U. By testing specific limited hypotheses concerning the associations between the constructs of interest, this study is intended to lay the groundwork, and provide the rationale, for future investigations into this topic. The first, based on sexual script theory, is sociological. The second, based on the Dual Control model, is neurobiological and psychological. The power of these society-level scripts is not absolute, since interpersonal and intrapsychic scripts, particular to couples and individuals, develop alongside and sometimes even in opposition.

However, this theory predicts that, in general across a population, there will be substantial agreement Adult wants orgasm FL to whether sexual touching is a standard part of the sexual script. If it is, then couples who limit or omit sexual touching from their repertoire are neglecting an important step in their learned behavior pattern that le to sexual arousal.

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By doing so, they increase their chances of experiencing difficulties with both arousal and orgasm. Evidence that the mainstream American sexual script includes an expectation of sexual touching can be found in the texts that provide instruction in sexual interaction and in studies of the actual sequence of sexual behaviors enacted by Americans. The pre-coital caressing was understood as an expression of love, an invitation to further intimacy, and a mechanism of arousal.

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Evidence for the enactment of this sexual script at the population level is limited because sexual touching has rarely been studied in this way. Population studies of sexual behavior among adults in the United States have neglected to examine sexual touching. In this framework, behaviors that trigger the sexual excitation system will increase arousal, whether the behavior is relevant due to sexual scripts or for some other reason.

At the same time, behaviors that lead to a reduction in the inhibitory response will indirectly facilitate sexual arousal by reducing the effect of sexual inhibition. Such inhibitory response-reducing behaviors include those that reduce, eliminate, and distract attention from perceived threats.

The question of interest, therefore, is whether sexual touching is an important form of any of these kinds of arousal-increasing behaviors. Besides the evidence that sexual touching is a standard part of the American sexual script, most of the evidence for the proposition that sexual touching is experienced as sexually exciting and pleasurable is found in international studies.

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However, international population studies have found evidence that suggests that this association is pervasive. Besides its physically stimulating effect, sexual touching may also increase sexual excitation and arousal when it is interpreted as a of ardent passion. Feeling desired is, in turn, a cue for arousal among both men and women Brotto et al. Sexual touching may also lead to a reduction in sexual inhibition, via three pathways. First, it may do so by refocusing attention away from perceived situational or sexual threats. Engaging in sexual touching may distract from these and other worries, particularly if the sexual touching is carried out with a focus on affection, and without arousal or other goals in mind.

Second, sexual touching may lead to a decrease in sexual inhibition by triggering a cascade of neurophysiological changes that result in bodily sensations that al safety and danger.

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As calm replaces stress, sexual inhibition would have the chance to fall. The third way that sexual touching may lead to a reduction in sexual inhibition is by promoting trust and connection, as will be discussed in the next section. In this model, the experience of emotional intimacy within a relationship produces both the desire for more emotional intimacy through sex, and the willingness to seek out sexual stimuli in order to become sufficiently sexually aroused to engage in penetrative sex with the partner Basson,a.

Partnered behaviors that increase emotional intimacy and positive affect thus facilitate desire for further, and appreciation of more explicit, sexual stimuli.

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This process culminates in high levels of sexual arousal and orgasm, both of which are ultimately enjoyed in large part as a form of emotional intimacy. Basson suggests that overtures from a partner, in the form of low-key sexual stimuli, such as sexual touching, may be one important partnered behavior that begins this cycle.

According to this theory, sexual touching would not primarily increase excitation or reduce inhibition of sexual arousal, but rather it would increase the appeal of seeking and responding to stimuli that would have such effects. In the same way, its absence could slow or halt the cycle, leading to difficulties with arousal and orgasm. Evidence that this meaning for sexual touching is found in the mainstream American sexual script can be found in studies of popular media and in studies of the meaning of tactile communication.

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A review of studies of non-verbal courtship behavior noted that even couples in established relationships can use kissing and touching to deepen intimacy Moore, Due to data limitations, the current study could not test any of these hypothesized mediating mechanisms of the sexual touching-sexual difficulties association.

Appropriate measures would include sexual touching characteristics, as well as beliefs and feelings related to sexual touching. This theoretical back-ground was presented as a rationale for the primary hypotheses of the study, and to explain the choice to model sexual difficulties and pleasure as functions of sexual touching.

Instead of testing for the relative validity of these mechanisms, this study will simply test for the existence of the association—an existence supported by all of these theories.

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While the theories discussed above support an association between sexual touching and sexual arousal among both men and women, three theoretical perspectives suggest that the association between touching and arousal may be stronger among women than men. If this is the case, men may have less need for the instrumental effects of sexual touching to facilitate the arousal process.

The frequent, powerful sexual desire and arousal that many men experience may become frequent, powerful sexual frustration. No studies have directly tested any of these theories or even conducted statistical tests for gender differences in the association of sexual touching with arousal, pleasure or orgasm. Adult wants orgasm FL this paper cannot test any of these theories of gender interaction directly, it will test the hypothesis supported by these theories: that sexual touching will be more strongly associated with orgasm and pleasure among women than among men.

Three of the pathways by which sexual touching may impact the likelihood of experiencing sexual arousal and orgasm involve increases in pleasurable feelings. Feelings of calm and contentment, feelings of trust and connection, and feelings of being desired by a loved one are all generally experienced positively Basson, ; Graham et al. Evidence that sexual touching is associated with lack of pleasure or degree of pleasure would provide evidence in support of further inquiries into these particular hypothesized mechanisms.

In order to explore whether any associations identified can be explained by other factors, the final models controlled for constructs that are associated with arousal and orgasm difficulties and may also predict frequency of sexual touching. These factors included age Laumann et al. An indicator of erectile dysfunction medication use was also included in the male models.

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The survey was a national probability sample, with an unweighted response rate of Most of these reported having sex twice a month or more, and a third reported having sex once a week or more Laumann et al. In the analysis, the rarely and never responses were combined into a single category to ensure adequate cell size.

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In addition to the item about not finding sex pleasurable for a period of several months or more during the last 12 months, participants were also asked how physically pleasurable they found their relationship: extremely, very, moderately, slightly, or not at all. In the analysis, the moderately, slightly, and not at all were combined into one to ensure adequate cell size. Participants rated their own physical health excellent, very good, good, fair, or poor.

The text of the items of the subscale was unchanged from the original but the response were modified to match those of the CES-D in order to ease participant burden and increase consistency. Whether participants were taking SSRI antidepressants or medication for erectile dysfunction was determined using medication data collected during the in-home survey. Lastly, participants reported how emotionally satisfying they found their relationship: extremely, very, moderately, slightly, or not at all.

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In the analysis, the moderately, slightly, and not at all were combined into one to ensure sufficient cell size. The analysis consisted of three sections. First, frequency of sexual touching was modeled as a function of all predictors, one at a time and then all together, in ordered logistic regression models. Second, the likelihood of reporting difficulties with sexual arousal and orgasm was modeled as a function of frequency of sexual touching, controlling for covariates, using logistic regression.

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Orgasms have been shown to reduce stress and increase self-esteem — all while triggering a rush of the pleasure hormone oxytocin throughout the body.


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Posted July 24, Reviewed by Davia Sills.